A week away and I swear i feel the pressure. I forgot to take my pristiq yesterday and today I feel like the world is ending and I cannot control my anger. Slept for the better part of the afternoon and when i woke, my inlaws were here with the kids and the hubby was about to get pizza for dinner.
It is clear that nothing is going to be done or taken care of when i am out. MIL walks in the house and doesnt pick up a single toy or chair before she walks in. She eft it all to me. They all know i am not in the best of places right now. They ALL need to show me how they will support me. They wont and I swear nothing will be done.
We eat dinner and eat on paper plates. Everyone leaves the table and leaves me with the plates and the dishes. The hubby said he wanted to clean up but nothing was put away. Toys are everywhere. Jory used up a whole contaioner of dish soap again.
I really cant take it. I totally get it that things wont be done my way while i am out, but i really feel liike its just going to be left fpr me. For 4 - 6 weeks i feel like the clothes wont be washed, the dishes will be piled in the sink. I really thought the support I had was greater. I want the kitchen a bit more organized, the clothes to be folded and put away. Toys in the TOY ROOM. How about a little compassion? TRhat wouldnt kill anyone, would it?
I spend my whole life taking care of people and no one is here for me. No one wants to show me that it will actually be ok. Kids will get their lunches made properly, bags packed for camp properly. Table cleaned and the crumbs not brushed on the floor.
The night i came home from my ooph, we had a mouse chewing on something in my bedroom! in my fucking bedroom! We are going to have ants, mice, flies...everything. Its disgusting and i hate to feel like i am going to have to push myself to make sure things are done. maybe something going wrong like my stiuches popping and getting infected because i had to do the dishes will show everyone that things need to be done. There is no magic cleaning fairy. GROW THE FUCK UP PEOPLE!
ontop of all this, i am trying to make lists, repeat everyuthing a thousand times and make sure things are in its place before i go in next tuesday.
Im not even sure i want to do this anymore. This is going to rp me apart. Maybe even more than the tress of the surgery.
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