Another rant.

I havent been feeling all that great the past few days. I have no idea what it is and I am a bit worried and for many reasons. I feel like my doctors do not take me seriously. I say something hurts and they blow it off to be a stupid thing. I dont work out or I do eat that great so it MUST be my fault (sense my sarchasim?) Anyways. i get got my blood report back from this new doctor i went to and my cholesteral is high and there is a note that my thyroid levels are slightly low. What? No phone call? No conversation about this? No thoughts on how to handle it? So once again, its put right back in my hands to figure it out. Maybe I should just be a doctor?

My muscles all hurt. I cant really lift my left arm because it feels like i dislocated it and its too sore to move that much. The rest of my body pretty much feels the same. Achy and lethargic. I have actually been sleeping at night. Thats a first. I know i have been spending the past few days preparing for passover and my slew of family to come over and eat my delicious food. But i usually do not feel the kill till after its all over. KWIM?

Anyways, while I am preparing for this holiday I have been getting no help. The husband keeps complaining that there are no socks for him. There are no clean clothes for Mira..etc etc. Well..ive been spending al my time cleaning the SHIT off my sons pants!!! Literally. Yesterday i had to scrub my washer because the poop was all over the lining. It was so friggin gross.Anyway..i have been asking the husband to do so many thiongs. Yersterday I asked him to make room in the garage to put my crayon stuff so what does he do? He CLEANS OUT the garage and lsists things on craigslist. This is not the time to do that. I need all winters worth of jackets put away, i need wine glasses from the basement, napkins, someone to go get the last minute things like EGGS that I ran out of. Set the table, keep the kids out of the kitchen, put the ladder away, put the black garbage bag outside so I dont trip on the toys we threw out in there the other day..you get the picture. Of courdse he thinks i am not doing anything and is wondering wht the fuck i am doing. I have been cooking for 3 days straight. Thats right. Kugels, matzo balls, cranberry sauce, charoset, tzimmis, matzo bark...i cant even remember what else. But remember, i am doing this for 2 nights. Not just one. AND im having over 16 people each night.

The husband just came up to ask if he can go ship stuff and leave. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY NAPKINS???????? And he asks me when am i going to fold the laundry thats in the basement? WHAT?

Tomorrow is my moms yeirtzeit. I cant wait till we have our therapy session on friday!