2 months out and here i am. I am still alive and i am back to business as usual. Doing laundry, fighting with the kids, dodging the husband..you know, the normal. I have been waiting all this time for that Ah Ha moment that everyone in my position was telling me about. That sigh of relief, that feeling of WOW! That light that turns on and makes life seem so much better and sweeter. I don't feel any of that. I have tried to talk to the husband about it and he says that he thinks that if i have actually had cancer I may have felt all that. That this was really a relief but the fact that there was nothing wrong and that there was no rush and anxiety about what was actually inside of me it doesn't carry that much weight in my mind.
It sucks because I was hoping for it. Maybe going through such a large surgery and long recovery that I would feel that big boom of life is much better. Therapist says that I am still expecting too much and that the only way I will feel that way is to make myself think that way..does that make sense?
No comments:
Post a Comment